Pirates hijack shipment of limited edition Raiho plushies

[AtlusAram]

PIRATES HIJACK SHIPMENT OF LIMITED EDITION RAIHO PLUSHIES; RARE COLLECTIBLES FEARED LOST AT SEA
Atlus does not negotiate with pirates

http://www.atlus.com/res/raihohijacked_550.jpg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8PFj3bG5o)

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA -- APRIL 1, 2009 -- Atlus U.S.A., Inc. today announced that the sole shipment of Raiho plushies, the very rare and highly irresistible bonus set to be bundled with each and every launch copy of the upcoming Shin Megami Tensei®: Devil Summoner 2: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. King Abaddon™ for PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system, has been hijacked by a roving pirate frigate. A video of the captive stuffed toys has also surfaced, emphasizing the seriousness of the matter.

"Today is a somber day for Atlus," began Aram Jabbari, Manager of PR and Sales for Atlus. "Nearly 4.6 tons of Raiho, our ultra-collectible bonus for Devil Summoner 2, have been plush-napped. The pirates responsible have made a list of demands and offered numerous overt threats as to the safety of the Raihos. While it pains us gravely, and it no doubt disappoints the fans, we remain strong in our resolve and maintain our corporate policy: Atlus does not negotiate with sea pirates. Let us think of the plushies as they were... cute, stuffed, and delightful."

RAIHO SHIPMENT HIJACKED - LEAKED VIDEO FOOTAGE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8PFj3bG5o)

###

About Atlus U.S.A., Inc.
Located in Irvine, California and founded in 1991, Atlus U.S.A., Inc. is renowned for its proud tradition of publishing exceptional role-playing games with strong niche appeal. The Atlus library of critically acclaimed video games includes Odin Sphere, the Trauma Center series, and the award-winning Shin Megami Tensei series. For more information, visit http://www.atlus.com.

For breaking news, special promotions, insider info, and more, visit http://www.atlus.com/faithful to join the ranks of the Atlus Faithful!

[System_Error]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Summon The Ninja.

[Crabman]

####ing Pirates! Don't make me get all Baofu on your ass!

[Kaibigan]

I didn't know robots were capable of telling april fool's jokes.

[Pixel]

I didn't know robots were capable of telling april fool's jokes.
You're right, they aren't. Further proof that this is real.

I really wanted that plushie. I'm going to cancel my preorder.

[Enur]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Summon The Ninja.

Why ninjas? I'm sure Atlus has made a few demon contracts, just summon a few dozen of them on the pirates (in their general direction likely) and all will be resolved! :D

[Zachalmighty]

Troll failed Aram!

[CeissaDesiste]

When I saw the headline in my email box this morning my heart sunk. I was thinking the best freebie from Atlus ever has been cancelled! Then I looked at the date and saw it was April 1st. HaHa Atlus! Nice April Fool's Joke.

Now I better get my Raiho Plushie on or before release day! LOL!

[Illu]

I almost fell for it. Almost. I never pay attention to Arpil 1st, so it took a second, but I did catch it.

[Kari]

*applause* Good one, Atlus. Another addition to my wonderful fooling day.

[Pibbman]

Haha, pretty risky move doing this Atlus. I wonder how many pre-orders were cancelled because of this. xD

[Gen Eric Gui]

Atlus does not negotiate with sea pirates.


I think the real question here is: What kinds of pirate does Atlus negotiate with? If air pirates had stolen the plushes, would they have negotiated for their freedom?

Of course, the fact that these pirates managed to kidnap Raiho plushies also begs how powerful these particular pirates are. Raiho is no pushover, and to have kidnapped an entire shipment of them is no mean feat. Do you actually not negotiate with pirates, or are you just not negotiating with -these- pirates because the Demi-fiend is out of the office? And if he's not in the office, where is he? On vacation? Where does somebody who can crush the devil with one hand vacation at?

THIS JUST RAISES MORE AND MORE QUESTIONS.

[poiuiu]

There's only one man brave enough to withstand pirates and rescue the plushies!
http://justafewthoughts.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/abraham-lincoln.jpg

[AdrianMorales]

Those Somali pirates are truly a force to be reckoned with. We need the navy on this one.
It's sad to know that the Raiho plushies are in harm’s way.

http://www.rnw.nl/images/assets/15888381

[Manly Biceps]

As an official Atlus USA representative, I can answer all of your questions without holding back, Gen Eric.

What kind of pirates does Atlus negotiate with?

We negotiate with sky pirates. With the rising cost of air fare, sometimes sky pirates are willing to undercut the competition's exorbitant FAA fees and get us cheap airfare. But we usually do all our negotiating through a 3rd party:

http://img1.priceline.com/pcln/gbl/Priceline_NegotiatorJab_800x600.jpg

Also, the fact that ninjas can't fly means that it's the only real safe domain pirates have left.

As in response to how powerful these pirates are, we believe they're somewhere between level 75 and 90 pirates. Dark forces were probably in play, possibly h4x or 'sploitz. We can't be sure at this time.

I'm not going to answer the question about the Demi-fiend, because he can answer it himself if he wants to, but I'm sure you wouldn't like the answer you got.

[CanuckGamer]

*cancels preorder*
It is just not worth it anymore..

[Onion of Mystery]

Sure, if all you want is talking, then Shatner's your go-to guy. He has Alan Shore backing him.

But if you need someone of both action and peaceful resolve, here's your man. A professional wrestler turned president:
http://www.sovereignty.org.uk/siteinfo/newsround/id2.jpg

No, not Comacho. Cripes.
http://bp1.blogger.com/_AVkqodyE5Tg/Rju94gV-z7I/AAAAAAAAABc/a7HuGmVOF0w/s400/king_of_cage.jpg
That's right. Lincoln will mess you up.

[Inzaghi]

Those Somali pirates are truly a force to be reckoned with. We need the navy on this one.
It's sad to know that the Raiho plushies are in harm’s way.

Nah, we don't need the Navy. We only need one man: Steve Zissou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0yucFw3qCQ).

[Zachalmighty]

Two people died in that hostage escape attempt.

[Enzeru]

I was SO close to believing this, but then I saw "Hijacked by Pirates".

[Demonis]

Dear God... I almost forgot today was april first.

I'd be willing to sacrifice my Raiho if the US Military promises to use a few dozen tactical warheads on the ship, to ensure pure obliteration of not only the lowlife pirates, but also any trace of Raiho doll's so that no one gets one if I can't :D

[Olethros]

This thread is foolish crazy with Atlus USA employee tomfoolery.

While I personally appreciate the humor, I have to agree with some of the above posters as to the wisdom of this particular prank. Some people can be EXTREMELY gullible. Is there any way for you guys to check (maybe with Amazon) and see how many pre-orders were cancelled today and tommorow? ;)

[unknown]

Bloody Pirates

[thinkfreemind]

I think I've found a clue! I've studied the paper in the video evidence and determined it to be of a Japanese origin. That can only mean that this pirate frigate is likely somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I know it's not much, but it's a start, let us use this information and move forward with our investigation.

[pariah164]

Well played, Atlus.

I see what you're doing here.

Making people cancel their pre-orders so you can keep some of the plushies yourselves.

[Onion of Mystery]

Breaking news! Because the newspaper appears to be in Japanese, we suspect that the kidnapping took place somewhere within the distance it is possible to travel from Japan and all Japanese-speaking areas in the past 28 hours. We've narrowed the search area down to all areas within 25,000 miles of Japan.

[Zacewing]

The amount of people that actually believed this is funny.

[Red_Chimera]

Lets just hope they aren't extremist pirates and start decapitating the little guys.

[jeffx]

Breaking news! Because the newspaper appears to be in Japanese, we suspect that the kidnapping took place somewhere within the distance it is possible to travel from Japan and all Japanese-speaking areas in the past 28 hours. We've narrowed the search area down to all areas within 25,000 miles of Japan.

Solid burn.

[Rikuo]

Real or not.....please save the Plushies. I want my Raiho plushie.

[Kevin7557]

*Stares at screen in disbelief. Lets out deep sigh and opens desk drower. Pulls out 45 holds it up to head and pulls trigger...Slumps over*

20 minutes later
*slumps back up feels back of head. "damn immortality. Well better actually do something about this"*

[kolaces]

Seriously Atlus, I expect better. I was hoping My Life as a Dark Lord/My Life as Lucifer showdown. :P

[cj iwakura]

The official email resolving the crisis needs to state that Rasputin rescued them all single-handedly.

[Quig]

Lets just hope they aren't extremist pirates and start decapitating the little guys.

Damn Al-Queda! I bet they'll have the decapitation video on the internet by the end of the weekend... :o

[TheMagicHat]

It's always the pirates that get blamed! Y'all are just jealous because they get all the wenches! :devil:

[Kevin7557]

Alright it took some time but I now have my best men on it.

We have sent the following agents to retreive the plush in time for the preorder.

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l109/Kevin7557/RE4Merchant.jpg
my expert merchant guy. Can get you the best deals just don't ask where he got the stuff.


http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l109/Kevin7557/major-payne.jpg
My us army contact major Payne


And finally to make sure the job gets done or that no one survives we are sending in the nemesis 2.0. Thanks to a sweet deal we made with umbrella for what they thought was a useless parasite we now have a super soldier. Ha ha ha. Pirates will pay in blood for every plush hurt.
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l109/Kevin7557/nemesis.jpg

[Saburo Hikari]

That's right! We, Square Enix, have hired pirates to plush-nap your plushies! Now sell us Atlus or these Raiho are going straight to the furnace!

[Sleepless Neko]

Just send Victor and the case will be as good as closed.

Oh wait... Wasn't those plushies are Raihos in disguise?
Why they didn't save theirselves?

[Kevin7557]

Cause if they did then he wouldn't be able to defeat King Abadon it must all be part of his plan.

[Oni-Kagura]

Protip: Next time you try and write an April Fool's joke, don't announce that it's April 1st IN THE JOKE ITSELF. :yawn:

[jeffx]

Pro-tip-tap-toe: You are late to the party.

[Pibbman]

That's right! We, Square Enix, have hired pirates to plush-nap your plushies! Now sell us Atlus or these Raiho are going straight to the furnace!

I'd rather that Atlus just let the Raiho plushes burn than sell their soul to the devil. I'm sure many others agree with me.

[Quig]

Call the Navy. They're already up 3-0.

[raiku]

That's right! We, Square Enix, have hired pirates to plush-nap your plushies! Now sell us Atlus or these Raiho are going straight to the furnace!

I'd rather that Atlus just let the Raiho plushes burn than sell their soul to the devil. I'm sure many others agree with me.

i do